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There were these mornings in New York, in that little house in the woods, when I would play autumn jazz on cool mornings when the leaves were changing colors. It felt so “old world” and charming and lovely and felt SO New York. I could imagine the city and how close it was to us, and looked forward to brunches with friends and strolls in the park and other outings enjoying all that NYC has to offer and see. I thought we’d attend parties at night and take the kids to museums and have family picnics in Central Park. And when I would take my coffee into the library and gaze out that window upon our really truly gorgeous piece of land in the forest, I would daydream about those days ahead.

Part of that time of window gazing, I was growing a tiny little girl in my belly for the last time and it was the most magical season of the whole time we lived in New York. I would do it over again in a heart beat.

This morning, I am playing some autumn jazz in our stucco tile-covered home in the desert. And while Arizona doesn’t quite have that same old world charming vibe that New York does, I am so much more content and feeling safe here. I don’t have that nervous feeling all the time anymore. I know I am gong miss those crisp autumn colors SO much this year, so so much, and all those cold trips to the pumpkin patch and apple cider drinking and Christmas tree hunting and all the fall decor matching what is outside…..BUT we have had so much fun with a REAL summer, one that lasted longer than two months. Pros and cons.

I miss you, New York. I probably always will. I miss those back curvy roads, the trips to Manhattan, Bear mountain, the Hudson, those old gorgeous buildings and bars, delicious food everywhere, and all the forest exploring there could possibly be. But I don’t miss your government overreach and your ability to make me feel panicky in a country that is supposed to be free.