I have noticed in the past few weeks when I realize how fast my baby girl is growing or when I just have a few minutes where my mind is quiet, my thoughts turn back to the day she was born and those days following that momentous occasion. And I find myself missing that time. Missing lying around in my robe with baby girl all day. Missing sleeping the majority of the day. Missing learning how to nurse (but not the pain associated with that!). Missing those much needed baths at night. Missing having my baby daddy home all day making me meals and filling up my water bottle eleventy billion times a day. Missing my sister being the best laundry fairy ever, among all the other wonderful things she did to ease my transition into mommyhood. Missing getting to know baby girl and taking her little miracleness in. Missing my mom and dad here helping me to figure out all this new stuff they call parenting. Missing having my in-laws here falling in love with their first grandchild. Missing dear, dear friends coming by to bring us amazing dinners and meet our newest little love. Missing how TINY she was then even though she is still very tiny now.
Missing how life basically came to a screeching halt and the world stopped turning all because this beautiful tiny person entered our lives and fulfilled them more than I could have ever imagined. I cannot remember life before her now. It’s so strange. It’s like she’s always been here. She is my whole universe.
Is this normal? Do all mothers feel this way as they realize how fast the moments are slipping by? My NEWBORN is a BABY now. She makes actual BABY noises and faces. She doesn’t make weird newborn grunts and squeaks anymore. I told my own mother today “I feel like you just get used to your newborn and then it’s gone” to which my mother replied “Just when you get used to all of the stages, they are gone”. She’s right. Just when I get used to her being a real baby, she’ll start crawling. And then I’ll just get used to her crawling and she’ll start walking. And then I’ll just get used to her walking and she’ll start saying real words. And then I’ll just get used to her making actual words and all of a sudden, before I know it, she’ll be speaking to me in complete sentences and driving a car and going off to college! Another reminder to take it day by day and live each moment thoroughly. It’s all just happening so fast and it makes me miss those first few days when time seemed slow. Life has gotten busy again and I don’t like it because it makes time go by faster and I want time to slow down!
I know some of you will want to punch me for saying this but I actually miss pregnancy. Even as those last few weeks of growing baby girl inside me got shorter and shorter, I knew that I would miss that feeling. And so, I also find myself missing being pregnant… But there is SO much to look forward to!
Any other mommies miss those first hours, days, weeks with their babies even though they were painful, exhausting and overwhelming?