I love the man I married. For a lot of reasons….he’s wicked smart, always handsome, makes me laugh, silly, laid back, happy, energetic, supportive, the best kiss I’ve ever had and is the most amazing father I’ve ever witnessed. I know, I know – every girl who is happily married thinks HER husband is the best one or the cutest one or the funniest one. Whatever. And then there are those couples that plaster how absolutely wonderful their significant other is on Facebook every single day. At least everyone knows they are full of crap because we all have bad days and we all fight. Nobody believes you when you say your life and relationship is all fun and games on a daily basis. BUT seriously, I love this man. How he ever fell into my lap, I will never understand but am grateful for his unconditional love and hugs.
The point of these goopy background details about my husband is to quote something he told me a while back and that is, “Lindsay, sometimes someone else’s 100% isn’t YOUR 100%”. And he’s right. I completely loathe inefficiency. Hate it. It makes my blood pressure rise. It makes me irritable. It makes me yell. But guess what? Sometimes toting a small person around with you all day long makes you somewhat inefficient. And then there are the drivers in this town. Wow – totally inefficient. They make my blood boil every single day with their horrid driving skills, if you can even call them skills.
So, today was a stereotypical Monday. I was irritable and nothing seemed to flow right. I had this enormous list of things to do when I woke up and I just couldn’t seem to stay ahead of the game no matter how hard I tried. I would get to a room in my house and have no idea why I was there. I went out to my truck in the driveway at one point and had zero clue as to why. I gave my best effort to get to work a little early today so I could finish my tasks earlier but then I somehow arrived an hour and a half after my goal time. I dropped things. I misread a recipe. I forgot to feed the dog. I made a mess making breakfast. I never washed my hair. I didn’t call anyone back that I intended to call. I was slow at work. I could keep going but you get the idea.
Just when I was about to scream from frustration at myself, I remembered what my darling husband told me so many months ago about people giving their 100%. And then it dawned on me: I was giving MY 100%! It is just that my 100% has changed and is not the same 100% it used to be. Maybe it will come back one day but for now, my expectations of what I can accomplish in a given amount of time do not match the effort I am able to give. My effort does not amount to what it used to. Can I blame this on my baby girl? Or is this purely getting older and not caring about the same dumb stuff I cared about ten years ago when I was the multi-tasking queen?! Or am I too hard on myself?
I have to remind myself about other people’s 100%, especially when I am behind some absurd idiot driver who would never pass a driving test anywhere else but the US. Maybe that’s all he’s got for today. Or, in general. I have no idea what factors are affecting his ability to give his full effort. And, as stated, maybe that IS his full effort! We are all doing the best we can with our given circumstances and lives. Our 100% may change over the years as our lives do. And, today, the people on the East Coast are giving their 100% for something far more serious than my to do list.
Speaking of effort and 100%, I need to force myself into bed at this very moment so that I am prepared for whatever 100% I will need to give tomorrow!